| David Stapylton Gillett was
killed in action aged 22 on 13 January 1943 whilst
on operations as the pilot of a Lancaster bomber of
No.61 Squadron, Royal Air Force Bomber Command. He
came from a well respected Leatherhead family and
was part of the life of the Parish Church of St Mary
& St Nicholas.
He is buried in the Reichswald War Cemetery and commemorated
by a plaque in the Chancel of Leatherhead Parish
Church and is named on the town's war
memorial. The photo of Virginia
by David's plaque was taken by the editor on 25
July 2004.
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Margaret Virginia Gillett (Virginia, Ginny,
Margot or Auntie Wings) died on 23 December
2008 aged 88. Her Funeral and Thanksgiving Service took place
at Leatherhead Parish Church on 15 January 2009. The service,
which was conducted by the Vicar, Canon David Eaton, with the
choir present - organist Ross Williams, verger Sheila Ford,
was as follows:
Love divine, all loves excelling
Tribute by David Gillett, son
The death of my Mother, always affectionately known as Mum,
and who would not wish to be addressed by me in any other
way, brings to a close a chapter in the history of both
sides of my family, both the Dare family, and the Gillett
family into which Mum married.
The families' association with Leatherhead which has sadly
now drawn to a close, began when Mum's grandparents, James
and Lottie St. Clare Hill, came to Leatherhead in 1892 from
Hornsey, her Grandfather to be both the Principal and
Chaplain of the Royal School for the Blind. My Father's
parents, Alan and Ella Gillett, moved to Leatherhead
somewhat later, probably in about 1911 when they married,
although I think my Grandmother lived in this area for some
time before she married.
Mum was born in Leatherhead on 25th April 1920, and named
Margaret Virginia Dare. She was particularly delighted in
the name Virginia Dare, being the name given to the first
girl born of the New England settlers who sailed with the
Pilgrim Fathers. She was the second born to, and the last
surviving of, four children of James and Gertrude Margaret
Dare. The first was Tony who died in 2003; the third was
Geoff who died quite recently in June 2008 and the fourth
Aubrey, who died in 1930 in infancy.
Her parents moved to Leatherhead after the end of the First
World War. Her father was at that time in the Army but left
the Army shortly afterwards. They settled in Fetcham. Her
father took the job of Director of Topographical Survey in
Sierra Leone, West Africa. Sierra Leone was then called "the
white man's grave". Children were not allowed into that
country because of disease that was prevalent in it. When my
Grandmother went out to visit my Grandfather, it was not a
matter of simply catching a flight from Heathrow of a few
hours duration but a sea trip lasting several days.
The family became used to periods of considerable absence
of both their Mother and Father. Mum used to speak about it
sometimes and I do believe that, although family and friends
were very supportive, it was a difficult time for them.
Grandfather Dare became ill, was repatriated to England and
died in 1935 at the age of 49 years when Mum was just 15
years old.
A short while afterwards my Grandmother, with the young
family, moved to Woodland in Reigate Road. That
remained the family home during the remainder of Granny
Dare's life and for Mum until she moved into Stenning Court,
just over the road from this Church, in 2005. Woodland was
home to Mum from about the age of 16. She was married from
that house, gave birth to me there and, as matters
tragically turned out, it was also her home when she became
widowed upon my father's death.
Both families lived in Leatherhead, and were known to each
other. My father was born in Leatherhead. My Mother and
Father were each baptised in this Church and in large
measure, both grew up within this community. I am not sure
whether both were confirmed in this Church; my father
possibly but I think that my Mother was confirmed within the
Diocese of Winchester having attended school in the
Bournemouth area. Both worshipped in this Church and my
Father was a server of the sacraments at Holy Communion. I
was baptised here. This lovely church has been a
considerable influence on the spiritual lives of both sides
of my family.
Mum and Dad married on 24 January 1942. They did not let
the turmoil of war erode their love for each other. Being
wartime, no icing on the wedding cake: cardboard imitation
icing was the best that food rationing would allow. No
honeymoon on an island in the sun: the first night of the
honeymoon was spent at a hotel in Guildford.
After that it was up to RAF Shawbury in Shropshire with
accommodation being made available to them in the Mess, so
that my father could continue the hectic training schedule
which he was undertaking, having recently transferred over
from the Army, in order to be awarded his RAF Wings. These
he earned and was thereafter commissioned into RAF Bomber
Command. Things then moved frighteningly fast; I was born in
December 1942 and my Father was killed in January 1943. You
will understand therefore that January has always been a
very significant month for Mum and so it has remained to
this day.
Mum had been through in just the first 23 years of her life
the experiences of a lifetime. Whilst these were unique to
her and to our family, widowhood within service families was
all too frequent an occurrence then, as before, and indeed
now as we are so frequently and horrifyingly reminded. The
friendship and support of family and friends far and wide
was of immeasurable help and greatly assisted Mum over what
must have been for her and many others who were similarly
circumstanced an extremely difficult period. I cannot
overemphasise how much that help, in all the different forms
in which it was given, was valued by Mum and, in turn by me.
With that help Mum was able to look forward. After my
immediate years of infancy, Mum went to secretarial college,
trained to get a qualification, became a matron at
Eastbourne College Prep School, joined the local choral
society and developed other interests. She acquired great
skill at certain specialist lines of cooking – cakes,
biscuits, fudge and toffee. No wonder I have such a sweet
tooth!
She took up golf and attended lessons at Leatherhead Golf
Club along the Chessington Road. There is a lovely story of
Mum making her way back home one day after a golf lesson
carrying a bag of clubs. She did not have a car then so she
made her way out of the club, across the road to catch the
bus. She had not been standing at the bus stop for long when
a large black car pulled up driven by a dark suited person
who turned out to be none other than a former respected
member of the firm of undertakers, Hawkins and Son, who are
providing their professional services for us today. The
sight of Mum, who was petite, sitting in the front seat of a
funeral car with a set of golf clubs protruding above the
dashboard and clearly visible through the windscreen has
never ceased to amuse either Mum or the family generally.
Woodland became like the centre of a bicycle
wheel. The centre of family operations during my young
years. Family came and went; I came and went to school;
family and friends reported in! Had we then the modern IT
that we have now, Woodland might well have been
regarded as a call centre but with one difference, there
never were nor would there have ever been any cold calls.
Home was always welcoming; I never knew it otherwise, nor
was it ever otherwise, but it must have been a supreme
effort for Mum sometimes to have maintained it so.
Yes there were difficult times – there are in anyone's
life, but they were overcome and I look back on many happy
times, and when Hanna and I married and had our family Mum
became a very proud Grandmother, and much more recently, an
even prouder Great-grandmother.
It was Mum's decision to remain a widow when my Father died
and I have always respected that decision. She was an
extremely devoted Mother to me for which I am ever grateful.
I would say that she was perhaps too attentive to my
interests, perhaps at the expense of her own, but then that
is parenthood isn't it.
Mum enjoyed gardening, needlework; she had a keen mind –
the Daily Telegraph Cryptic Crossword seldom
defeated her and had the Sudoku Puzzle been on the scene
before her sight began to trouble her, I think the
diabolical puzzle would have been easy meat for her. She was
also, a keen diarist and very neat and organised in her
ways.
And so the years went by – there were holidays that we took
as a family; a trip by Mum in 1975 to British Columbia to
visit family cousins was of particular note, but always
Mum's heart turned to home and Leatherhead. And as she
became older and the question arose as to where she should
be accommodated when Woodland became too much for
her we knew instinctively that it was in her best interest
to respect her roots in this place, and so it proved to be.
Mum has been shown wonderful support and friendship both by
this Parish and this Community over the years for which we
are immensely grateful.
We moved Mum to her flat in Stenning Court on 29th October
2005, a significant date for Mum in its own right but also
for another reason. It was the weekend of the
re-consecration of Dresden Cathedral which, like Dresden
itself, suffered so heavily by RAF and allied bombing in
order to bring the war in Germany to an end. My Father did
not live long enough to witness that part of the campaign
but, had he done so, he would have been thrilled by that act
of reconciliation that re-consecration represented. My
Father had read one of the lessons at the service at which
the foundation stone of Guildford Cathedral was laid in 1936
and for whom therefore construction rather than destruction
was so much more appealing.
I came to realise during the course of preparing this
tribute how strong Mum's connection with Guildford had been.
I have already made two references to it namely the laying
of the foundation stone and the honeymoon. Another is that
my parents were married by the then Bishop of Guildford.
Dear Mum died peacefully early in the morning of 23rd
December and it is perhaps fitting that when she did, she
died within the sight of Guildford Cathedral.
God Bless you Mum. Where tranquillity has evaded you in
this life, may you find it now.
Reading by Edward Gillett, grandson:
Mr. Valiant For Truth, the brave old soldier of Jesus Christ,
has received his summons to 'go home': from John Bunyan's Pilgrim's
Progress:
Calling his friends together he says, "My sword I give to
him who shall succeed me in my pilgrimage and my courage and
skill and to him that can get it. My marks and scars I carry
with me, to be a witness for me, that I have fought His
battles, Who will now be my rewarder."
When the day that he must go hence was come, many
accompanied him to the riverside, into which, as he went, he
said, "Death, where is thy sting?" And as he went down
deeper, he said, "Grave, where is thy victory?"
So he passed over, and all the trumpets sounded for him on
the other side.
Prayers of Penitence
Be still for the presence of the Lord
Reading by Simon Gillett, grandson: John
14, 1-6
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe
also in me.
In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I
would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again,
and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may
be also.
And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
Thomas said unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest;
and how can we know the way?
Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth and the life:
no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
Address: Canon David Eaton
David has given an affectionate and moving tribute to
Virginia whom we remember today with thanksgiving. If it was
hands up for those who have been coming to this church the
longest my guess is that Virginia would be the winner. Her
association here is not only long standing but deep rooted.
She has been the most faithful of church worshippers and
supporters.
As we have heard, what brought the family to Leatherhead
was Virginia's grandfather's appointment to the then Royal
School for the Blind, her parents moving here about 1911.
James St Clare Hill was both Principal and Chaplain, the
Principal usually being an ordained Anglican priest at that
time. Quite rightly the face of the Blind School has changed
considerably, not least with a change of name [to
SeeAbility].
What comes across to me is the depth of influence that
institutions had in individual lives. Virginia's childhood
would have been consciously influenced by her connection
with the Royal Blind School, especially when she came to
live just around the corner from it. It was an influence of
care and faith which she carried with her all her life. It
shaped who she was. She was someone who had a natural
concern for other people, and that concern sprang from her
faith which she had received from her father and
grandfather.
We live in a very different world now where institutional
life, whether that be caring institution or church, does not
have the same reach. In some ways that is a good thing
because it delivers us from paternalism; but there is loss
too, because institutions at best were guiding stars and
then cornerstones in communities that held them together.
They shaped people's lives and Virginia's was one of them.
Many of us have been touched to know the story of events
which lead to the death of Virginia's husband and to the
birth of their son David. In one sense it must have been an
all too familiar story at the time; but in another it speaks
so clearly of courage and patriotism, which were displayed
by both David, who died, and by Virginia who lived on. It
is, of course, fitting that we have the memorial plaque in
the Chancel, marking David's passing.
Locals will know that we have been having a struggle to
locate the frontal chest which houses the altar frontals. It
was moved to allow the Thomas
Parker organ to be placed in the North
Transept. Having moved it we didn't quite know where to put
it. To complicate matters we have to agree changes of this
kind with the Diocesan authorities. For a while the only
viable location , on a temporary basis, was in the Chancel,
masking David Gillett's memorial and some others. I needed
Virginia's support; and it was typical of her that although
'temporary' dragged on, and I knew that it worried her, she
was perfectly understanding of my dilemma and willing to
accommodate this arrangement until a permanent resting place
could be found.. Which it now has. Perhaps this also reveals
in Virginia her ability to bring people together and pour
oil on troubled water.
She was a keen traveller in Gloria, the church
minibus. Gloria (now superseded by Skylark)
has undertaken many church outings. They tell me the
passengers can get stroppy if all doesn't go to plan - can
you believe it?! But always Virginia could be relied upon to
settle the dust and restore order when she was on board.
Whether by gentle persuasion or outright threats, I'm not
sure - surely the former, but anyway it worked, or she did.
She was in some ways a surprising person. You might think
that someone with a foot in Edwardian England might be
hugely conservative when it came to worship. But this was
not the case. She was lively. When we first started have
praise services, with band and no organ, there was Virginia
in the front row, moving and waving and having the time of
her life.
And with all this she was an immensely likeable person and
good fun to be with. She was always young at heart. She
looked on the bright side and was upbeat. Because of this
she had good friends and was held in affection by many.
It is, of course, more than fitting that we are in church
today for this service. Virginia was clearly a woman of
faith in God, as well as faith in other people. So it is
with complete trust and assurance that we commit her to
God's safe-keeping today. Her faith was unassuming - which
is the best kind to have. It was simply a part of her from
the beginning - until the end. She couldn't imagine it any
other way and wouldn't have wanted it differently. Jesus was
for her the Way, the Truth and the Life.
She will be greatly missed from her pew, where she
regularly sat and worshipped. And she will be greatly missed
as a good friend and companion to many: in Stenning Court,
the WI Market, the Autumn Market, the Mothers' Union, the
2nd Sunday Lunch and the Day Centre.
We honour her memory. May light perpetual shine upon her.
Prayers of Thanksgiving
The Lord's my Shepherd, I'll not want (Crimond)
Commendation and Farewell
Anthem: God be in my head
Nimrod from Elgar's Enigma Variations was
played on the organ as the coffin was borne out of the church.
Donations were received on behalf of the RAF Benevolent Fund
and the Royal British Legion. Many organisations were
represented including the Bomber Command Association and Royal
British Legion.
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