Order of Service
ENTRY MUSIC
Postlude on the tune St Clement - Peter Young
WELCOME AND OPENING PRAYER
Reverend David Ireland
We
are here to pay tribute to a truly remarkable lady who gave so
much to others in her long and extraordinarily fulfilling life.
Eleanor
was one of those inspirational people who had a God given ability
to respond to the needs of others whatever their age or indeed
their ability. I knew her when I worked for many years for the
Royal School for the Blind (or SeeAbility as it is now known),
where she showed extraordinary patience and kindness in the
writing of letters for our residents. They loved her visits as
much for her company as her letter writing.
Similarly
she worked as a Home help/Carer, as a volunteer at the Leatherhead
Day Centre and even found time to sell charity Christmas cards in
the church hall opposite and assist in church cleaning and as a
member of the Church Watch here at Saint Mary & Saint
Nicholas.
Eleanor
will always be remembered above all else as a devoted wife,mother,
aunt grandmother and more recently great grandmother whose
gentleness, kindness, and sense of humour shone through all her
relationships as did her strong Christian faith and the strength
she drew from Christian Science. So there is a great deal to give
thanks for as we pause for a moment before hearing the reassuring
words of our opening prayer.
HYMN
The Lord's My Shepherd
READINGS
Isaiah 13-16
Read by Karen Stuttard,
daughter-in-law of Eleanor
Shout for joy, you heavens;
rejoice you earth;
burst into song, you mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
and wil have compassion on his
afflicted ones.
EULOGY
Michael Stuttard and Andy Stuttard
Michael - Mum was born at Meshed
in Persia at a time when Iran came under British political
influence – her parents, Douglas and Evelyn, had been in the
country for several years, with mum’s father the manager of the
Midland bank. So in 1931 Mum joined her older sister, Iris.
The tragic death of their mother
from malaria just a week after her birth made the bond between the
two girls really strong. Growing up, the girls enjoyed an idyllic
colonial lifestyle, playing in the snow in winter, and brown as
berries during the hot Middle East summers. With the help of
devoted nannies and tutors they thrived and, by the age of 5,
Mum’s Farsi, she later recalled, was as good as her English!
This bucolic upbringing came to an
abrupt end, however; with war looming, the two girls travelled
back to England while they still could, leaving their father and
step-mother behind for the duration of the war.
Boarding school in Eastbourne
presented many challenges, not least the strict regime imposed by
the nuns in charge. Luckily for Mum her stay there was short-lived
as the German threat of invasion meant a move from the south coast
to a school in Betws-y-coed, North Wales, where Mum remained until
war's end.
Although cut off from their
father, Eleanor and Iris saw much of their maternal grandmother
and other relatives during the holidays, being especially close
with her cousin, Micky Sandes in Bedford.
By 1946 and the war over, Mum’s
father was finally able to return home, but sadly was suffering
from tuberculosis, from which he was soon to die.Life has to go
on, and Mum settled and continued to study in London and
subsequently worked at the advertising giant, J Walter Thompson.
Sharing a flat in Pimlico with June-Mary, who became a life-long
friend, Mum led an active social life. Soon Mum met Dad, at the
English-Speaking Union event, the Saturday Night Hop in Berkeley
Square.Marriage soon followed in 1957, Mum given away by friend
and work colleague Lord Tennyson.
Mum and Dad settled down in a large apartment in Bryanston Square,
near Baker Street in central London, a perfect home as Juliette,
Elizabeth and Celia were born in quick succession from 1958 to
1962. The private square garden proved a perfect playground for
the growing family. To Mum’s and Dad’s amusement, they discovered
that Christine Keeler was their neighbour, and this was right at
the height of the Profumo Affair – perhaps the ‘60s paparazzi were
kinder in those days!
A move to the countryside here in
Leatherhead, though, became essential when I was born. Andrew then
followed a few years later, to complete the family.By the late
‘60s, with 5 children in 10 years, Mum had her hands full but was
thriving as a mother, leaving us with so many happy and fond
childhood memories. Always fairy cakes in the tin, and a Victoria
sponge on display, tempting us as we returned from school. Such a
busy and welcoming house to friends and neighbours alike! She is
remembered by everyone for being such a kind and gentle person.
There were regular trips out on
the weekends to Ranmore, Headley Heath or Box Hill, and in the
holidays day trips to the seaside at Littlehampton or Worthing,
and week-long summer holidays to the Lake District, Bognor Regis
and North Wales - and of course all these trips and outings
accompanied by the legendary picnic hamper, with a large thermos
of tea and homemade sweet and savoury delights.
Andrew continues:
Mum encouraged us to pursue our hobbies, and was always there to
support us at school sporting events, ballet shows, gymnastics
competitions, swimming galas, and tennis, rugby and football
matches. Even as Mike and I continued our rugby in our 20s and 30s
Mum would still find time to be there on the touchline. She even
got on the back of my motor bike for a spin up the Mickleham
Bends, but she kept leaning the wrong way going round corners
which made it interesting but she was always game for a laugh.
Being the youngest child I was
really spoilt by my sisters and especially my lovely Mum. She
worked at my first school, Ryebrook, helping with the cooking and
the Art classes which were famously chaotic but fun. If I was ill
she would always get me a toy soldier from Taylors in Leatherhead
and a bottle of Lucozade. Every day I returned from school I would
sit in front of the TV and within a minute mum would bring me a
KitKat and an orange squash. I used to get homesick at sleepovers
as I wanted my Mum. Her cooking was fantastic and Karen still gets
bored with my regaling my Mum's dishes and the vegetables she
reeled out every meal. Even when I was away at University, every
term without fail she would make a gingerbread cake for me which
my friends used to chuckle at, but was delicious.
As we all became more independent,
Mum started on a pathway of care and helping others in society.
Working as a home-help/carer for Surrey County Council, she
visited many elderly people assisting them in their homes with
dignity and love, arriving on her bicycle or in her little blue
mini called Alice! Mum and Alice the Mini were a real team but
unfortunately Alice developed a car horn problem and every time
she went into Leatherhead and went round a corner the horn would
go off for about 10 seconds which was extremely embarrassing for
such a self-effacing person. I remember squirming in the passenger
seat as the horn went off going past a group of people all of whom
stared in amazement.
Home helping became her new life
work, continuing to help others when needed, whether it was at the
local blind school writing letters for the residents, or just
helping the elderly with shopping in the local community.
She also did a Jury service stint
and most nights she came home and said that “the defendants had
such lovely and innocent faces that I just couldn’t convict them.”
She always saw the good side in every one! This selfless trait
continued throughout her life, even quite recently volunteering at
our local day centre, offering care and support to older
residents, many just a few years her senior.
Mum received a Civil award with
her friend Betty Borgust from the local council for the help and
care they gave to the elderly at the Leatherhead Day Centre. They
used to bathe the elderly people who couldn’t manage to have a
bath at home. Betty and Mum also used to sell Charity Christmas
Cards every year in the Parish Church Hall, and one year they were
involved in a heist when two undesirables walked in wielding toy
pistols and ordered them to hand over the takings which they
clearly did. The police were called and both ladies had a nice cup
of tea to settle them down. Mum laughed about it later in her
cheeky and funny way as it was a such a great story.
Throughout her life Mum kept a
strong Christian faith, worshipping for decades here in
Leatherhead, and also embracing the strong belief in the healing
power of God, channelled through the teachings of Christian
Science. This steadfast faith was dreadfully challenged when our
beautiful sister, Elizabeth, was suddenly taken from us now over
40 years ago. She is buried in this graveyard, alongside Dad.
After the death of Elizabeth, Mum
and Dad set up a charity in her memory. Elizabeth used to help
disabled young people to swim at the Leisure Centre and this
charity was to pay for some of these disabled people to have a
holiday. This sense of giving back to others was a major theme of
Mum’s life.
Happier times helped the grieving
process, however, as Juliette married John later that year.
Michael again:
As all Mum’s children reached
adulthood and settled down, there followed 10 grandchildren, and
of course Mum was more than willing to help out with babysitting,
sleepovers, school plays, sports days etc; this was her new life
as a grandmother. And when our Dad died 20 years ago, Mum was able
to focus on her growing grandchildren as a source of joy which
helped the shock of bereavement.
Mum’s sense of family also
extended towards our cousins – from Dad’s side of the family,
Jane, Chris, David and Matthew, and Iris’s side, Jennifer and
Robert for whom, after Iris’s tragically early death, she became a
guiding and loving presence.
Poor health and the beginnings of
dementia came just at the time when our eldest sister, Juliette,
was taken from us nearly 6 years ago. When Mum was in her 80s, she
continued to live at home with the help of her family, and
assisted by live-in carers Tiago from Brazil and Lizbet from
Hungary, both of whom loved her kindness and sense of humour. And
even at this time, when memory was failing as well as physical
issues increasing, you would find Mum engrossed in watching a
rugby match or Wimbledon on TV!
As even semi-independent living
became difficult, Mum spent her last few years under the wonderful
support offered at Priors Mead care home in Reigate, where the
kind and caring staff provided love and sympathy and just a fun
place to be, where Mum would just suddenly sing songs from her
nursery days, and always managed to stand with her frame as the
national anthem played on Remembrance Sunday at the Cenotaph on
TV.
Mum got to meet her first
great-grandchild, Sebastian, last year, which was of course
thrilling for her, and she even managed to sing him one of her
nursery rhymes ‘Wind the Bobbin Up,’ whilst holding him in her
arms. Family was always everything to her.
Our Mum was such a kind,
considerate and loving lady; she will be forever in our hearts,
and we are eternally grateful for the love and guidance she gave
us all.
Mum is surely now in a place of light and joy, finally reunited
with her risen loved ones.
I thought I’d close by reading a
thank-you card sent to Mum a few years ago from one of her
grandchildren which simply encapsulates how we will all remember
my beautiful Mum:
“To the wonderful Grannie Eleanor,
I cannot express my appreciation for all the love and support you
have given
me and my family. I value you as one of the greatest and most
important
people in my life. You have one of the purest spirits and I have
taken so much
from your caring and loving nature. You are one of my heroes
granny, I love
you so very much.
All my love…”
HYMN
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
(Horder/Parry)
PRAYERS
Rev David Ireland
THE LORD'S PRAYER
HYMN
Lord of all hopefulness (Irish
tune Slane/Struther)
COMMENDATION
FINAL PRAYERS AND BLESSING
RECESSIONAL MUSIC
Nimrod/Elgar
Thanks to:
The Leatherhead belringers and
friends, for their beautiful acknowledgement of Eleanor's full
life, on all 10 bells, half muffled for the occasion.
Richard Price, who played on both
organs, including the special 18th Century organ recovered from
the remains of the fire-damaged 1873 Walkers pipe organ.
The Reverend David Ireland, who
lead the service for us, and will lead us for the further
commendation at 12.30pm at Randall's Park Crematorium, Randalls
Road, Leatherhead, Surrey KT22 0AG
-------------------
Commitment at Crematrorium
ENTRANCE MUSIC
Pearl Fishers' Duet - Bizet
READINGS
Remember, Christina
Rossetti
Read by Becca Stuttard,
grnadaughter of Eleanor
Remember
me when I am gone away,
Gone
far away into the silent land;
When
you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor
I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember
me when no more day by day
You
tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only
remember me; you understand
It
will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet
if you should forget me for a while
And
afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For
if the darkness and corruption leave
A
vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better
by far you should forget and smile
Than
that you should remember and be sad.
The Ship
by Bishop Brent, read by Alexei
Edwards, grandson of Eleanor
What is dying?
I am standing on the seashore, a ship sails in the morning breeze
and
starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her till at last
she
fades on the horizon and someone
at my side says: "She is gone."
Gone!
Where?
Gone from my sight that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when
I saw
her, and just as able to bear her
load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her,
and
just at the moment when someone at
my side says, "She is gone" -
there are others who are watching her coming, and other voices
take
up a glad shout:
"There she comes!"
... and that is dying.
EXIT MUSIC
Intermezzo from Cavalleria
Rusticana - Mascagni
A reception will be held from
1.30pm at theRAC Club, Woodcote Park, Wilmerhatch Lane, Epsom KT18
7EW
In place of flowers, if you
would,like to make a donation in memory of Eleanor, her chosed
charities are:
If you would like to add your own
memory of Eleanor please email it to the editor of this page Frank
Haslam
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