from Dec 2005 Parish of Leatherhead magazine
A HAPPY CHRISTMAS
Rev Briony Martin

At Midnight Mass last year I used a story I'd heard from the Scottish religious leader, John Bell, on BBC Radio 4's Thought for the Day slot. It's a funny child's eye-view on the nativity, and I reprint it here:

"Christmas is a time for children because the baby Jesus was a child. So were his mum and dad. Mary was 10 when she had her baby, because that is how old Sheryl Foster is, and Joseph was 11 like Ravinder Singh. Joseph was not the real daddy of Jesus. The real daddy was Mr Montgomery, our school caretaker, who is also Santa Claus.

Mary was pregnant, but stayed very thin, unlike my mum when she was having wee Sandra. Mary always wore a blue nightie, and Joseph wore a dressing gown like Ravinder Singh's dad. Mary and Joseph had to travel from the back of the school hall to Bethlehem on a donkey called Gerry, after Mr Montgomery the caretaker.

Mary decided she was going to have the baby right away in the snow, because there was no room for them at the inn.
The innkeeper's name was 'Lo', because Joseph said to him, "Lo, my wife is great with child". Lo took Mary and Joseph to a dirty cowshed. Mary had her baby in front of everybody. When he arrived everybody realised that she was dressed in blue because she knew it was going to be a boy.

Some shepherds came to see the baby. They got in just before the three wise men who wore Mrs Anderson's silk scarves after they promised not to wipe their noses on them. The wise men had gifts for the baby - a big stone covered in gold paper, a perfume bottle full of red stuff, and incense sticks.

Then the shepherds and the wise men knelt down in front of the baby Jesus and sang Jingle Bells. Then Mr Montgomery came in dressed as Santa Claus, but Mrs Anderson shouted at him because it was not time yet."

Poor old Mr Montgomery, coming on in his Santa Claus costume before it was time! But of course, it being December, it is time for Santa Claus. It is time for all the fuss and magic and hassle and joy of Christmas. It is time to welcome the baby Jesus all over again.

Are we ready? I know I'm not. But there are "shopping days" left before the big day itself. And there's still time to prepare, not just practically, but in our hearts, for the mystery of the nativity. At Christmas we will be offered a gift. It won't be tinsel-wrapped and we don't have to give anything in return.

It is a gift wrapped up in history and shrouded in poverty, a baby born in an obscure and filthy stable. This gift holds together all the mess and wonder of human life. It is God coming among us, feeling for our gladness and sharing in our sadness. It is gift from God; a gift of God; a gift for us. And it will soon be time to receive it. Happy Christmas.